To the christian man praying with his girlfriend at the table across from me:
Bravo. That was inspiring to watch.
Yes, I was creepily listening and watching from above my laptop. What do you expect? It’s a small coffee shop.
You probably don’t realize how big of an impact you had on me today.
You see, it’s guys like you who have ruined “good guys” for me.
There’s a ton of awesome men out there. I’ve been playing the field for 24 years now (ha, playing the field, that’s what I like to call it..) and I’ve come across a bunch of good, decent men out there. They’re charming, handsome, outgoing, hilarious.. you know, all the stuff us girls like to make a checklist of when we’re in middle school.
But that’s the thing, those are just “good guys”. But you have reminded me that I’m holding out for GREAT.
The christian men (friends, church family, and mentors) in my life have shown me what a great relationship looks like. I’ve seen the way they treat their girlfriends, fiances, spouses. I’ve seen how they live out their faith in the day-to-day. And it’s because of them that I’m still single.
Strong, sold-out, bible-believing, truth-seeking, gospel-spreading men of God are a rare breed now days. But I’m holding out for that guy because they are still out there. And you reminded me of that today when you prayed with your girlfriend before your meal. When you stopped your conversation to pray for wisdom and guidance in your life decisions. When you sought out counsel from an older couple for godly relationship advice. When you asked her what her hopes for the future were and shared your own heart as well. And that was all within one hour on a normal Saturday morning.
You see, I’ve been wrestling with this idea of dating a “good guy”. Sometimes I get burned out and restless during the wait. I get my hopes up only to be disappointed when another guy doesn’t meet the standard men like you have set for me and it makes me want to throw in the towel at times. But I can’t do it. I can’t lower my standards because that’s not what I truly want.
What I truly want is a man on a mission. One who is sold out for the cause of Christ. One who really gets it and isn’t afraid to share it. One who loves God to the best of his ability and wants to lead his woman to do the same. One who understands why we’re here; to be Jesus with skin on and share the good news with others. One who wants to partner with me on that mission. One who wants to pursue me, lead me, cherish me, and support me because he wants to live out the call to love sacrificially like Christ loved the church. One who is wise and teaches me new things. One who encourages me to grow and to pursue my dreams. That’s what I want and I don’t think that’s too much to ask. Especially because I’ve seen it done in some pretty awesome relationships of my peers.
See what I mean? You’ve ruined good guys, fun flings, and short-term, commitment-less relationships for me.
But I think that’s a good thing. Because even when I’m weak and I forget why I’m waiting, men like you remind me it’s worth it.
To all those great christian men, thank you.
*picture found on Pinterest